1993 fuel system issue

We have a 1993 with 3.4 V6. Engine will start using starter fluid for a few seconds and then die. Pump does not make any noise with the key on, but when you jump it with 12V it does make a noise, so we assume it works but the car still didn't start. We're getting 12V coming into the fuel pump relay and there is less than 1 ohm of resistence from the fuel pump relay to the pump on the tank. Wiring diagram shows a fuse that is common to the brake light and it should be located in the passenger compartment fuse block (per Chilton) but we can't find this on any fuse or on any block marked fuel pump or brake light either inside the engine compartment or at the drivers' side end dash. Does anyone know where to find this fuse? We've replaced the relay with a new unit, but no luck with starting. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

We found the fuse for the fuel pump in the block at the side of the drivers' side dash (marked #5 ECM 15A) and it was good. But now the car won't even start for a few seconds using starter fluid. There is fuel getting to the engine intake (there was fuel spray out of the valve when cranking), but we couldn't check the pressure. There is spark at the plugs and the one plug we pulled looks good (not wet as would be the case with the cylinders loading up with fuel). Car still will not start even if we apply 12V directly to the fuel pump. Is it possible for the pump to be bad even if we hear it making noise? Could there be a problem with the alarm/theft deterrent system? Does theft deterrent normally disarm the ignition so that the engine won't crank or the fuel sytem by cutting fuel supply or making the fuel pump inoperable?
Any suggestions?
Thanks

Is the "Security" light on, or flashing?

You can turn it on or off with a switch.
I did it on and off and it still will not start