1988 Delta 88 Won't Start

Okay, this is kind of weird.

Olds. 1988, 3800 pre-series-1, EFI. In the past three weeks I've put on some Bosch +4 plugs, and this evening I put on a new Magnavox coil pack. The car has only very recently (past three weeks, again) started slowly eating oil, but no puddles or smoke. Maybe 1/4 - 1/2 quart a week of in town driving.

After putting on the new coil today, I decided to take it out on the highway for a little bit, because I hadn't after the new plugs yet either, and I wanted to have the car re-learn the settings with the new coil. It drove beautifully; power, speed, smooth idle. I parked it at home after 20 minutes of driving, turned it off, and decided to turn it back on to see how fast it would start.

It started, ran for about 1.5 seconds, and died. Not a sputter, but a chug-chug-chug-DEAD death. If I start it and quickly feather the gas, I can keep it alive but it sputs, kicks, and occasionally even backfires, even if I rev it up really high. If I keep it *just* alive, you can hear a whistling noise from the accessory side of the engine with the serpentine, but I don't know what that's from and it never did it before. If you turn the key to the "on" position, but never actually crank it, and then turn it off, there's a high-pitched *tweet-tweet-tweet* (really quickly in succession) from the MAF sensor area off of the air intake, and it's louder when I took off the air intake ribbed hose.

This is my only car, and I don't know what to do! It's never had many problems in the five years I've owned it, except for the camshaft position sensor magnet I had to replace in the second year (it ate the old magnet).

Additional info:
I've driven it with the Bosch plugs, but never up to highway speeds. I also couldn't take the plugs out tonight to see what they look like (too hot), but I confirmed that they're tight in the sockets. The coil pack is one of the old magnavox all-in-one bricks; it sits on the igniter with six spade-plug connectors, and goes in the same way upside-down or rightside-up.

EDIT: still won't start an hour later, and the computer isn't throwing any codes. I've put it on a trickle charger just to be safe, but the battery still shows 12.6v

Check for a cracked hose between the maf and the throttle body, look for vacuum leaks maybe the pcv hose, got to look around, you are on site you have the best chance of spotting something.

It was the PCV hose-> part of it cracked and fell into the engine when I changed the valve last time. I can't reclaim the lost piece, but I can temp-epoxy the thing shut until my new part comes from rockauto.