The Perfect Day

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Hillary Clinton and Al Gore sex scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

Who gets up at 6:45? And I don't like seafood.

Wow... I have some funny information to share. That's almost exactly how my weekends went when I lived with my ex. Although there was no golf, limo's and jets... I'll let you just imagine what took those places instead. lol :biggrin: :wink:


Ahh those were the good ol' days. :(

I just want a blowjob. Just one.

I just want a blowjob. Just one.We'll get Rally right on that :rofl: .


:disappoin

I just want a blowjob. Just one.

:rofl::cwm27:

We'll get Rally right on that :rofl: .


:disappoin
that is messed up.
Sorry Curtis you dont get any bj's that sucks...

LOL.
two words for ya..

vaccum cleaner. :B

Woooow this has gotten too funny. :grinyes:

I use a shop vac.
Something tells me that would be a little too rough for me. I like gentle.

Who gets up at 6:45? And I don't like seafood.

LMAO... you are such a jackass. :lol: :screwy: :rofl: :cwm27:

For a day like that... I'd get up whenever, hell.. I'd even stay up 3 or 4 days in a row just to make sure I didn't miss it.

Who gets up at 6:45? And I don't like seafood.

same here, 6:45am doesn't exist to me. and seafood is nasty.

You pussies.
6:45 I am on my way to work.

Only way I am up at 6:45 is if I hadn't gone to sleep yet.

I haven't done that in a LONG time. :lol:

Damn, some days, I'm AT WORK, on the clock at 6am. But that's usually over the summer because I am in school right now.

Dude... 6:45 is nothing when you're playing xbox... that's when the killing gets good. They're LUCKY if I get to work by 9 am.

And whoever says seafood is nasty... I feel sorry for your woman.:rofl: I don't care who says what about how clean she is:eek: , "the saying" is true. :eek7:

And, not getting any BJ's?!:frown: :disappoin :nono: Try offering up your own services first, it's hard for her not to reciprocate :naughty: :smokin: ... besides if you're anygood at it, you won't even have to ask for your turn.:iceslolan

(This thread is spiralling out of taste. What's the odds it's closed soon... or at least this post is deleted?:uhoh: )

(This thread is spiralling out of taste. What's the odds it's closed soon... or at least this post is deleted?:uhoh: )

Out of taste huh? :popcorn:

As far as I'm concerned, tastes like chicken, :dunno: carry on. :rofl:

Hell, I wake up every single day at 4:30 Am to workout, and at 6 I am getting ready for school and I am on my way to school at 6:30AM.

But I never liked sleeping, since I was a kid I always saw it as if I was wasting my time and not doing anything beneficial.

Hell, I wake up every single day at 4:30 Am to workout, and at 6 I am getting ready for school and I am on my way to school at 6:30AM.

But I never liked sleeping, since I was a kid I always saw it as if I was wasting my time and not doing anything beneficial.
How old are you?. I ask cause if you're in high school I think technically your still a kid. If you're in college, kid was at most a few years ago :lol: . Also, I overslept for classes all the friggin time when I was in both High school and college and on days I had no classes I was also sleeping til early to mid afternoon :uhoh: , yup I was that guy.

, yup I was that guy.

And today you are..................... :uhoh:

besides if you're anygood at it, you won't even have to ask for your turn.:iceslolan

Shouldn't have to ask, she should just do it.

How old are you?. I ask cause if you're in high school I think technically your still a kid. If you're in college, kid was at most a few years ago :lol: . Also, I overslept for classes all the friggin time when I was in both High school and college and on days I had no classes I was also sleeping til early to mid afternoon :uhoh: , yup I was that guy.

Im still a kid I guess :) I am a HS senior right now. Its no big deal huh, everyone I tell at what time I get up, they give me a surprised look and tell me how much they try each day for that extra 10 min of sleep.

Oh well, I guess not everyone is the same.

I feel old at 27.

And Jim, the give and take system doesn't work on her.

And whoever says seafood is nasty... I feel sorry for your woman.:rofl: I don't care who says what about how clean she is:eek: , "the saying" is true. :eek7:

oh no, i do that. i just don't eat stuff that lives underwater and swims.

You mean you don't eat stuff that swims in its own giant toilet.

You mean you don't eat stuff that swims in its own giant toilet.

i don't eat fish/seafood.

L.M.A.O. - Curtis, wait till you hit 35, then see how old you feel.:lol: (I've only got like 2 months. dammit.) Maybe you should get your old lady to hang out with SG... She's got a good head on her shoulders. :naughty:

As far as sleeping... I once slept through a 2 alarm fire that burnt down the house next to mine to the ground. :grinyes: Then I learned about the wonderful world of women...:smokin: Now that I've been there, I am the lightest sleeper in the world. :eek: And because of the sex anymore either... :banghead: 3 kids later, well, you get the point. :disappoin

Wow, I used to be up at 5am everyday for work. But now I'm on a completely different shift so I'm lucky to be in bed by 6:45am. lol

lol maybe if you get caught using a shop vac shell give you one.
or chop it off..

O_O

lol maybe if you get caught using a shop vac shell give you one.
or chop it off..

O_O

Or push you out of the way and go to town! :cwm27: :evillol: :rofl: