engine/tranny probs

i have a 96' thunderbird, V6 3.8. it has an early shift pattern after abt 30 mph, and there is a grinding noise from the tranny when it shifts after abt 40 mph. these problems come and go, but are worse the warmer it is, it seems at least. the engine problems are this: once the car is warmed up, the oil pressure drops every time i stop. i put the car in neutral, oil pressure goes back up, and i wait for the light to go green, drop it back in drive and go. well, now the oil pressure drops in neutral too if i sit there too long. i stopped at autozone to have it checked, no codes except left and right catalyst below threshold. after i left autozone, the next time i started the car, it didnt want to keep running, and i had to give it alot of gas. the next time it started and died, 3 times, then i got it going. i dont know where to start really, any advice is appreciated. when i took it to ford, the mechanic told me to change the oil and sell it. i cant sell it, i will replace engine and tranny first. hopefully someone can tell me a quick-ish fix. thanks, kathy

Hopefully, the mechanic used an acurate oil pressure guage to check the actual pressure at idle. If he did and he told you to sell it I would believe him. Did he tell you what the pressure was? Change the oil and filter. Use a Motorcraft filter which you can get at Autozone and switch to a heavier weight oil for a bandaid fix.