2000 Bonneville named "Christine"

OK, it's official her name is now Christine and nothing anyone can do to fix her. Her's her problems (please keep typical woman in mind)

She loves to start every morning with dropping the kids at the sitter. No problems there! Then we go to work and when lunch time happens at the garage I go home. Now being the woman that she is she freaks and doesn't want to eat! (fat fear I'm guessing) So we are driving along and out of nowhere this is what we see :

Airbag light on (jeans too tight?)
Brake light on (oh hell NO!)
Trac off (I'm not listening to you) push the button and nothing happens light stays on! (Nothing can make me talk to you)
intermintent dinging (Nagging out of nowhere)
Radio freezes up! (you are not listening to the game in the car)
AC turns back on within seconds of turning it off (I'm HOT!!!!)
Doors lock and unlock when radio turns back on (GET OUT!)
Fuel gauge drops to E (I'm hungery and that expensive resturaunt will do even though I just ate)
Oil pressure gauge comes on and off (leave that to your imagination)
Last but not least... Sometimes when you put the key in NOTHING HAPPENS when you turn it... no clicks, pops, hummin, lights (Not right now I have a headache)

So I take her to to dealership and they change the BCM (butt liftmaybe?) And she still does all this. New Ignition and switch (new credit card!) and she still is giving me trouble! So they hook the computer up to her to find out what's wrong but you'll never believe this!!!!! Computer can't talk to her and makes thier screen flip out! (uncontrolable crying followed by a ton of nothing is wrong). And the next thing you know you turn the key off restart her and everything is fine! ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG. OMG!!!!! "I'm fine. I think maybe it's just you!" says Christine.....

Now right now this car is killing me! Anyone ever heard of such crap?? HELP ME!!!!!

The Wife of Christine.

Did I mention that she nevers does this when we go shopping or take trips??? LOL

And this story is soooooo not a joke! But real and I need real help!

Hmmmmm.... well the Dr's errrrr mechanics decided to instutionalize her for the time being. She finally went phychotic enough in front of enough people. So this morning they came and picked her up and brought me a replacement wife for the time being to get my daily chores done.

I think though as some sick joke they brought me her younger sister. Now at this point most of you guys are jumping for joy or smiling abuot getting to take the younger sis for a test ride.......But let me explain this..... 2005 Bonnie can't go more than 150 miles a day (cerfew). You can't change her tunes (no mute or selector) from the steering wheel. Cloth seats (kids are going to ruin her pretty dress) and worst of all when you are done driving her you can't even light up a smoke!!!! Some sister. Lets just hope that she doesn't have any phycotic moments of her own.

In the meantime "Christine" is getting a full face lift! (ripping the interior out) then they are going to check all her wiring (shock therapy) and then replace ALL of her computers (labotomy). Kinda funny though.... I told my husband that they said she had a class 2 failure and computers aren't communicating..... he said "if they aren't communicating tell them to get us a divorce for them! LOL"

So here I sit and wonder when "Christine" will come home and be a obedient and serviceful girl errr car for me.

Wife of Christine

They are going to find a bad ground or a harness problem here.