so this is quite embarassing. my roommates car was dead. its been a recurring problem and the other morning while half asleep i hooked up the jumper cables wrong. before i could change them back she fired up the car thinking it was hooked up. poof of white smoke comes out of 2 of the front spark plugs. SHITE!!! total brain cramp

replaced battery as it was pooched. checked the fuses and replaced all that were cooked. car started up but idle went super wonky, engine chugging and abs brakes locking up as soon as you touch them. in addition, its leaking oil quite good, it was before apparently but seems to be leaking even more now. all in all a total screwup.

shes a 93 cavalier automatic 3.1L

any help, advice, ideas of what the f is wrong is greatly appreciated. and yes i know im an idiot!

Sorry, but you could have messed up your ECM (the brain of the car). You should see a mechanic, and have them run a diagnostic check on your electrical components.