It's simple. I start off the story. Where I leave off, the next person picks up. The point is to let it get funny, crazy. Postwhores are gonna love this, since apparently, I don't have a sense of humor.


One fine day, President Clinton went out to the front porch of his brand new house. As he went to pick up his newspaper, what should catch his eye than.......

...a little monkey standing but 2 feet tall. He was carrying a sack lunch and a golf club. Casually, he walked across the lawn of President Clinton's house. Opening his lunch bag, he handed him a...

...a note saying for him to undress,turn to his right and spin around 4 times. Jump up and down 7 times, then for him to bend over with his arse facing the........

...gardner. The gardner, Juan Pablo, was so excited that he took his nuts and shoved them up......

...the Garden hose to cool them down. "Aye Aye Aye!" Exclaimed Don Pedro as he noticed the former president getting "inspected" by a lemur.

and wondered how that hampster crawled up his arse!! Holy......

...Macaroni" was his only thought. However, he soon gained his composure and his thoughts changed to "how could they leave me out?". Then, he picked up a potted daisy and a bag of miracle grow and said "I'm going to take this and....

grow a new hybrid weed. The need to smoke was high on the list so he quickly grabbed his......

roach can . . . hoping that he could find enough unburned seeds to plant.

He knows he leaves at least three roaches a day in there . . . between watering the lawn . . . and laying pipe to the former first lady.

When he checked the "Chock Full 'O Nuts" can, it was . . .

full of monkey balls. So he popped on in his mouth and went on his way. As he walked to the local Stop N Shop, he bumps into......

Mr. T who asks him "What you doin' in ma store fool?" Clinton decides to take it outside where....

Monica Lewinsky comes by and says if he wants to hook up. So he takes his electric shaver and blender and.....

Skins Mr. T's ass with the shaver, while mixing some drinks in the blender to get drunk with Bill.

Bill says: "I'll drink, but I won't swallow, and since swallow is the topic . . ., Monica would you kindly . . .

ask Hilary where the hell that damn daughter of mine is? Good ole George here wants.....

...to check her clothes for cum stains. After finding........

...out that she goes down like the Titanic while away at...

....the local "bingo" place where she has gone down on a few before.. While she was there you never guess who bumped into her?. It was......

a horny goat with balls the size of...

....small peanuts. They are this size due to him being.....

drained from porking Hilary doggystyle. Meanwhile, in the underground tunnel, Chelsea was sucking a mean.....

.......12" long, 4"thick.......

...orange popsicle, that she bought on the street corner while she was out late that night...

screwing all her Stanford professors in order to get A's in all her classes. Fumbling around in the underground tunnel, she finally found her way outside and ran into Clinton. Shocked, Chelsea asked her father angrily, "Dad, what the hell..."

...are aliens doing banging mom? I thought she was supposed to be banging...

Al Gore. Bill just said oh well, when suddenly a large.....

...anus fell on them, spilling poopoo and nasty smelling farts all over them, instantly killing them. When parmedics arived at the scene they...

immediately asked Colin Powell, if he would bang hilary while they took care of the ex-pres. So now Colin and Hil get on a jet to NYC. First stop........

Dr. Evil's Secret Hollowed-out Volcano where Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard and Mr. Bigglesworth board and head back on their way to NYC when....

Mayor Gulianni greets them by showing them......

....a picture of that monkey that was on the front lawn.
It was a strange photo as the monkey was in fact 7 foot tall with a big prick and hairy pink buttocks. "What the.....

are you doing bangin' Hillary Clinton, Powel? That's my job! So he picked up a...

a banana and give chelsey clinton some good ole.........

banana cream pie a la mode. After she was done eating, chelsea said, "Gee, that...

...monkey over there.... is that a banana it is holding? As the monkey got closer she noticed that it had this strange look in it's eye's.
Colin she yelled.......

..... does that look like a blow up doll with Monica's face on it, and then she shouted out to Bill who was.........

....already cuming thinking about Monica and how she loves to swallow.
But just as he was shooting his load........

...he saw...

......Monica,Hilary and Chelsea all "getting it on".
What am i to do he thought. I know,........

....I will ring the neighbours and get them to come over aswell for some......

.....good old rooting,smoking and wife swapping.
After tossing all the keys into the middle of the room to see who would get who,there was this loud BANG from out side the window. "AHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" , said Bill as he slipped......

into his silky S2000. I'm gonna go buy me some...

...new shoes, but then they all realized that Bill and Chelsea were already KILLED IN A PREVIOUS POST, so now Hillry and Colin started running to...

The "Meat District" . . . a great hang out for all things unusual . . . swing clubs, voyeuristic lounges, S&M dens, etc. Hillary knowing all of the "good spots" picks a club where she can watch Colin get it on w/ a local hermaphrodite . . .

Colin, with a quizzical look on his face, asks Hillary: " How did you know?" to which she replies:

I asked i_rebel! He knows all the banging spots out here!! They then proceeded to......














:D :D :D

....Primera man's house for a chainsaw party, but wait who was the $hit head that forgot the petrol so they all jumped into the Primera and drove down to the.......

local whorehouse when they bumped into Igor and God. Who just happen to have finished getting.......

. . . their knobs polished by the finest looking goat in the little barn that had the sign "Local Whorehouse" outside . . . upon being discovered . . . they immediately began an argument of who's the real admin, which they decided would be settled by . . .

blowing their wads the furthest! GOD went first and got about 2ft. The Igor went and..........

....missed a stroke and could not regain his rpm. Then he got on his cellphone and called for backup, when the cow got there he said......

shit

now igor was just $%@! outa luck and loses all power to God and ..........

...thinks about getting even with him. He picks up the phone and asks for the leader of the P.L.O but he gets.....

DVSNCYNIKL, who was up to no good. DVS comes out and says...........

. . . "I'm the king of jerkin off around here . . . I'll show you how to blow a wad!" . . . as he proceeds to wank with his "tool' firmly between his thumb and forefinger . . . just then, he realizes that he has taken too much viagra, and . . .

Shot Igor right between the eyes!!! Oh............

Igor, sensing that he will no longer be respected by the members who have seen him disgraced by DVS, takes out his hacky sack and challenges DVS to a hack . . .

........."A HACK???" says Igor, "dont you mean a WACK??", because if you do, i'm the king of wacking around here.
The 2 of them stare into each other eyes.......

only to realize that they are totally out of their league as Rebel . . .

....has the whole group in fits of laughter after pulling out his 2" long cock to try and join in the "wack pack party"
Mean while......

MBTN gets back from REAL sex with super hottie Kim Smith in a a limo. He pulls up and says...

Nothing. He just stands there wth a big grin and asks everyone what they been up to. Igor says....

. . . "mrmsmmsmflppttt" . . . and begins to drool, looking at Kim Smith and her . . .

.....still naked body. There is a mad rush.....

. . . as the guys all charge to fill every crevice of her body with . . .

valvoline motor oil. Just as they had finished adding the 5th bottle, they decided to start fillin' her up with...

......clothes as she is cold.
But Primera Man, being the super cool dude that he is fights away all these other pesky trouble makers and takes her away for a good old.....

...hot oil rubbing at MBTN's place. Then he just leaves MBTN and Kim Smith alone. As he walks away he hears moaning, and Kim yelling "YES!!! Harder!". She is doing this because...

mtbn paid her $20 dollars to scream and moan b/c he wanted everyone to think he was getting some but in reallity he was only getting..........

...A kick ass BJ. MBTN exploded into orgasm sending Kim flying out the window, landing on top of a...

brand spanking new porsche 911 turbo , with kim and the porsche covered in jizz ...........

...but Kim decides that she likes the 360 Modena Spyder, belonging to MBTN, a lot more so MBTN comes running out, and takes Kim for ride. They drive to the nearest...

:p :D

Gas station to buy some condoms to use but they didnt sell the fun size , he was so embarrassed that he drove off a cliff ....and he was never to be seen or heard of again ........

unless the words, "poo poo head" are chanted 3 times. This allows him to...

...rise up, and kill all who threaten the homeworld!...

Poo Poo Head, Poo Poo Head, Poo Poo Head! Rise fallen comrade rise! MBTN rises and...

GOD strikes lighting upon all that rise against him :stormzap: the end

then the big bang occurs and life starts all over again, where johnny lives to drive drive drive! He walks over to his friend...

...and pushes the cunt off the cliff and blames him for everything in life. "YOU HALF DEAD MOTHERFUCKER" screams Johnny.
Next a real tight looking Primera pulls up and out steps.......

....a nun and she asked johnny what is that mangled body doing at the bottem of the cliff. johnny looked at her and said.......

"What's this I hear about you having trouble with your TPS reports?"...

"may the lord look down on all these sorry souls" says the nun, as she slowly removes here clothes and bends down in front of GTO-TT/CHEV and starts to.....

sing the song...

...that nuns sing Then she procedes to wash the car using...

Johnny's underwear, which just happen to have......

been lying around in his room for the past few years. Anyways, the nun starts to wash the new GT2 and then says.....

..."Damn, this car blows. Where is MBTN and his super 360 Modena Spyder? His is so much nicer than the Porsche." Suddenly...

GOD shows up with his, just stolen Ford GT90 Concept car. He challenges MBTN's Ferrari and blows his doors right out the frame. This of course infuriates MBTN to the point of......

Revenge. He hooks up a pre-regulated destroyer class solid fuel recoil foil booster to the 360s engine, boosting HP to 4.4 million. The quarter mile was completed in just .086 seconds, 1 mile in .234 seconds. The gt90 conecept lost, not because it was outpowered, but because it was simply a FORD.

The End


:p

During this period, GOD has managed to start the engine on the GT90 and is wondering when to start. Meanwhile, MBTN is entering the Trosophere and hopes he's got the roof up for when he leaves the Atomosphere. Porsche pulls up in his freshly washed GT2 and challenges GOD who is now....

a very big

...Jack ass for thinking a FORD is good in the first place.

For
Only
Retarded
Drivers

is what Ford stands for. Ford...

Found
On
Russian
Dump


Anyways, GOD has now realized that he should get out of the Junker he is attempting to drive. MBTN somehow safely re-enters the Atomosphere and....

...Is thirsty. So he buys a bottle of water and drinks it. "Yum" he says. Then with out warning...

.....the dipstick shorts out on the crank and sparks fly and this blows the PCV valve out at great speed hitting MBTM in the head, with lots of blood coming out he got on his cell phone and rang the.......

...samaritans. But shit, what can they do? What he needs is a doctor. The idiot...

eats too much

farts his way back to earth. MBTN, with nothing but the clothes on his back, makes a run up north. But, unbeknownst to him, he landed in Mexico. As he was attempting to cross the border, Immigration cops ran after him and...........

...totally stopped chasing him, because MBTN ran back to the USA, wondering why in the first place he would want to go to Mexico. Meanwhile, somebody else must have a life here b/c all the talk is about MBTN, and...

people don't wanna hear about mbtn, they wanna hear about jennifer lopez getting it up her large.......

...bumper. Because she's a poor women driver. She slams on the brakes all the time and gets rear ended. Tough luck for her, anyway...

.....they have just heard the news that she has had a sex change opp. OH MY GOD THINKS EVERYONE, but it didnt worry.......

...we all know Primera man likes a bit of meat...

.....but it was his way of putting the others off, he new she never had one !!!!!
So he then took Jennifer and waved goodbuy to all the others who where all very pissed off that Primera Man had taken her from under there nose. L/K was crying and wanting to shoot him self.
HAHAHAHAH he laughed......

maniacally with a finger up his...

...left...

...testicle, which oddly had several holes in it. So Lizard King decided to....

...sew up the holes. But not wanting to do it himself, he passed the needle and thread to....

Mr. T, who pittied the foo' wit' holes in his danglers. So, Mr. T gold plated the needle and thread and sewed up L/K's....

briefs. This was enough to happily send LK.........

...to the...

...Vet to get his flea shots.

Meanwhile, after many failed attempts at self breast enlargement procedures, Enzo began violently slugging himself in the genitals, and throwing himself down flights of stairs. His mother came home and...

slapped him across the face with a stalk of celery. "Damn you, Enzo!" She said. "Why don't you...

...eat your greens. You'll grow up into a big, strong man. Big enough to...

.....watch your mum do it herself.
" You should know that your mum aways does the stairs first before you".
"Now seen you have been such a BAD BAD boy you can piss off to bed you little bastard with only these 3 beans to eat for your tea". said Enzo's mum.
Being in a very pissed off mood he throwed them out the window.
In the morning when he woke up...............

right outside his window were three big weed plants. So he decided to get high as a..........

...A snake doing a limbo dance on Jupiter, which actually isn't very high at all. Like Lizard Kings score when he dared to face MBTN in Counter-Strike. After going through a severe ass-ramification process, L/K started violently vomiting and urinating on himself.

The score was MBTN: 102, L/K: -3

:D

Just then, Lizard King's mouse and keyboard finally started to work, and so MBTN was forced to do more than shoot me at the spawn point each round. But he never got a chance to kill me again.

Score was MBTN: 102 - LK: 55 before MBTN exited the game in a fit of rage and embarrasment.

MBTN stormed from the room and....

Beaten, the king decided to go and...

...SUCK SOME MORE AT COUNTER-STRIKE. MBTN still won, 102-55. What he didn't understand how LK managed to kill him self 3 times. No matter, MBTN after all was using his old computer, with an 8mb voodoo2 3d card. Also, his monitor wasn't turned on, but he still managed to get 102 kills. Igor, the whole time was...

wittlin' his hate stick...

... while drinkin' down a couple of...

Glasses of Lemonade. He finished making his hate stick, sharpened at both ends and decided to go after.....

Johnny for think of friggin lemonade!! After drinking, he saw.....

..God, watching him through the window. God had something in his right hand, it was small and...

...smelly. Oh my, it's a piece of...

...turnip.

turnip, it seems is the only thing god could use to calm himself when "that thing" starts to happen . . . that thing where he . . .

...finds the wall so attractive he starts to hump it. The last time this happened he damn near...

....got a splinter in his dick.
This time though......

. . . he's going to place the turnip in his lap and nibble on it until . . .

....his eyes roll back in his head and he gets a funny grin over his face as he......

...gets high off of the fumes from the fermenting turnip.

Meanwhile...

......back at the bat cave.... Robin is........

checking the Bat______.....

...crap under his shoe that he stepped on earlier, on his way to the...

...fruity-fair by night with his...

....his side kick and partner in crime.........

Mister Poopy Pants.

Mr. Poopy pants figured the best way to.....

...lose his ridiculous nickname was to learn bowel control. Either that or...

jerk off, then his new name was going to be Lefty, the one handed.........

....toss pot.
But not liking this name....

... he went for One Nut.

....mmmmm one nut he thought.
He thought back to when he had two of them, if only it had not been for that.........

...crazy midget with sharp teeth and...

. . . a curious appetite for things dysfunctional . . .

...like turnip.

A dysfunctional turnip he thought as he scratched his only remaining testicle....BASTARDS he thought...i'll make them pay for this.
Now for plan "B" he thought, as a sly glint came across his face.
What i need to carry this out is.......

...a giant potato, 6 200gauge wires, a lemon, a battery, and 4 aluminum bars. All the materials needed to build a...

...a fast Ford. He know it would never be enough to try and catch even the slowest Primera though !!!!
Taking the wires and wrapping it around this giant potato he suddenly rememberd........

...that he could roll the potato faster than a Primera. So he took the wires and...

....stuck them up his arse.
With a lemon in his mouth, he got the battery,hooked the wires to it and sat on the potato and waited ........

...and kept waiting for Duke Nukem Forever to come out. This stupid potato cotraption was supposed to speed up time! Instead...

...his ass swallowed the potato and the battery shorted out his pacemaker.

Bugger, he said whilst...

...spitting out patoto peel though his arse.
Who didnt peel it he thought?
MMMM, lemon and patato mixed together,along with my broken pacemaker and wires will make a......

...meal fit for a king. Just then, i_rebel enters wearing a pink tutu and a purple wig. He does a little dance and foams at the mouth. he says...

...I am so sexy, it's not even funny. Just then a bomb explodes...

and aliens invade the earth...

..but all they are after are fruits in purple wigs, so the world is safe. i_rebel, however, gets taken onto a vast mothership where alien scientists...

...began relentlessly slugging his genitals and sticking sporks up his butt hole. i_rebel yelled out...

Damn! That feels soo fargin' good!! Let me see if....

...I can get it up.

Nope...

..i cant get it up.....those aliens remind me of Lizard king.

Just then, the aliens pin i_rebel down, hold his mouth open, and feed him a giant turnip. I_rebel chokes and gags, and, spitting out the turnip, he screams....

...aahhh ahhhahh gnnnnnn!!! Fuck! Get it away! get it away!

The aliens inject him with another dose of tranquilizer and set to work on his...

...limp dick, but the tranquilizer is fill of monkey poo turning him into a....

Four-Assed Monkey. He is lying unconsicous on the bed and the aleins began to probe his...

...5th arse they have just found under his......

...gargantuan nutsack. Meanwhile, back on earth...

...the aliens are fucking everything in site with there high powered.......

...fucking machine. MBTN gets in his tank, and begins the long process of saving the world from the aliens by running them over. Then he gets an even better idea...

and decides to shorten the process by Nuking them. He proceeds to the local Aifroce base to Skillfully Acquire a B-2 when...

...he forgot the key.
Bugger...now i will have to....

drink Foster's, which is Australian for Beer!:D After chugging down a few, he....

....thought "what utter crap beer....i have had 18 cans and dont feel pissed".
:bloated: :bloated: :bloated:
Jumping aboard.....

...a city bus, he regreted this move as busses suck. He jumped out of the emergency door, straight into the path of a...

local Ho! She said, "I'll.............

... give you three seconds to get off my...

Corns, onions and bunions!!! "They be hurting me since I've been.......

...locked away in a funny farm with nothing but bread and water and i need a good......

Screwing! ..........................eh...eh.............oh.. .......... Ah, that's better. Meanwhile MBTN is now sitting on the street when....

...this cop walks up and asks him what the hell he's doing poking a prostitute with a....

with a midget stuck up her ass.

.."YOU HAVE A MIDGET UP YOUR ARSE ?" said the cop.
"Well the other one is already inside me keeping warm" she said.
A shocked MBTN thinks to him self....

"Damm, I'm the most...

...smallest prick on earth and i'm being beaten up by a midget who's bigger then me.
Just then help comes in the very large shape of a........

...John Candy lookalike, with a hatred for midgets and an array of weapons, including a...

...big barbie doll, and her side kick "KEN THE HOMO" that he used on...

...his date to the senior prom. That night he forgot to....

......Pack his 12" strap on that he last used on......

LizardKing!:D Anxiety building inside of him, he.........

....was really hoping it would be the 16" BIG KING one he got last time !!!!

With a big smile he....

spanked his monkey and ran out the door! Got to..........

lick this...

...problem before it gets out of hand.
So he set the timer on his mickey mouse watch and....

...waited...

...for Igor to pick him up and take him to the grocery store, where he can buy a turnip. He wants to get a turnip so that...

.....he can rule the turnip world.
Then with out warning a giant....

booger fell on him and he died. Meanwhile back at the Batcave....

...Batman had Robin bent...

on some juice and gin. They got so wasted that........

...they really thought they could fly.
Standing at the cliff.......

.....with there parachutes on they jump, but batman's chute did not open and robin thought it was a race to the bottom so he took his chute off and as they where getting close to the finish line......

Batman cut a super fart and managed to slow down his descent to where he could land on his feet. Robin on the otherhand,......

...said"fuck you batman i ......"
Bat man screamed at Robin.....

.....Hey pizza face are you allright, there was no sound from robin so batman went back to the batcar and as he turned the key......

someone had moved the after burner to under the drivers seat.
When it started...

Judge Mills Lane came out and said "LET'S GET IT ON!!" Batman was like WTF, look you.........

...turnip faced...

wanna be judge......

...piece of shit, mother...

fucking piece of horse shit .......u damn SlUt PuPpEt....

After getting that off his mind he thought it may be time to start the bat car.
BOOM,BANG,CRASH,SMASH,WACK.......

He forgot to arm his alarm while he was away, and intruders had entered the car. They started to beat him with rotten turnips. CRACK! KAPOW! GAZING!

"Where is cat women when i need her to ......

...repell these fearsome root vegetables.

Plus, looking at her in her tight suit gives me a...

...huge bat like hard on.
"Wheres Robin when i need him?"
Just then the boy wonder....

...doesn't show up.

"the wanker" thinks batman
Just then superman drops in to.......

give him a blowjob! Damn that feels so good exclaimed......

..batman, it's going to blow my ears off.
Superman thought.....

cool!! Now it's time for........

...tea and turnips, I also feel like eating...

truffles . . . they taste great when . . .

monkey balls, lot's of monkey balls. So he goes to the local zoo and..........

rapes an orangutan . . .

until the Incredible Hulk shows up with a bottle of Boonesfarm and a jar of...

Grape jelly . . . lots of grape jelly . . . since it seemed to be the popular thing to do and since Wolverine hadn't shown up yet, he began to . . .

Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich for Him...

. . . because "Him" was known to get very hungry after a long day of crime fighting . . . "Him" had gotten his name in a most peculiar way . . . the story goes like this . . .

......In a galaxy far far away.....

...there were turnips....lots of turnips. Also in this galaxy were...

Oil Filters, Yellow ones. Besides the Turnips and Oil Filters, on the planet of Himnavia, there was a small boy....

...with 2 heads,one arm 3 legs and.....

...zits....

...all over his arse.
Taking his star wars nuke em gun........

just like any child with a new toy, the young boy pointed it at everything in his path and pretended to shoot . . . "bang, bang" he would say, "bang, bang" . . . it was all fun and games until one day . . .

...Luke Skywalker turned up on his nifty fifty motor bike looking for that great big stink arse called.......

Snufalupagus!!! The old sesame chap was looking for some smoke and...........

....fire so he could cook that big yellow motherfucker who gets right up his nose.
Finding the prick he started to.......

massage his balls and.....

...this started to send big bird into a deep deeeeeeep sleep.
When the big bastard fell of his perch........

he landed in a pile of shit that Snuf had just laid. As he got up.........

....he stuck his big trunk up his arse and said, "whistle now you yellow bastard"
Trying to....

whistle, Big Bird took some smoke and farted it out of his arse into Snufalupagus's nose. Snuff said he never took a shotty that way and got such a buzz that..............

...he thought he could stand on his trunk only.
Just then Gonzo came in and told him to stop because he would end up with a nose like his.
Miss Piggy then.....